After signing the contract, I went to visit Margaret to her cell many nights. There were nights when she would scream at me, saying that she doesn't know me, and that she wants to have a peaceful time until her execution, that she didn't want to have anything to do with a creature like me because she needed time to redeem herself. There were other times when she welcomed me with a melancholic smile and actually asked for my help with some simple tasks. It was like her personality was totally shattered, and I couldn't be sure if the Margaret I was talking to was the Margaret that agreed to be my Master.
When I offered her a quill pen to sign the contract her blood didn't coagulate, the same as Faust, but in her case the blood didn't stop flowing from the wound on her wrist, and after some time I got worried, I had to aid her, tying a piece of clothing at her elbow and quickly treating the wound.
As I said, when she accepted my company I helped her with some small things to make her last days a little bit more comfortable. The second time I went to visit her I helped her cleaning the blood stains on the floor, I gave her some clean sheets and soft pillows and we washed her robes together. Another night I carefully tried to get close to her to wash her face and brush her hair, and she looked so grateful towards me. I regret not spending more time with her, I just wish I could have embraced her the whole night, hold her hand thight to help her have a peaceful rest and cast away the nightmares that haunted her and made her wake up screaming, asking for mercy. I felt so moved by her, and still she didn't even shed a tear in my presence, she looked sad, but in a lifeless way.
I'm not sure if she knew that I was the one who helped Faust ruin her life. I assume that she didn't, because she sometimes would say that my face looked very familiar, that she vaguely remembers seeing someone with the same hair colour as me alongside her beloved, and still she had no clue about Faust having business with the devil, even though she noticed that something was off about me. When she remembered Faust, she would talk non-stop about him, sometimes with sadness, other times with hate. I... sometimes felt like I simpathized with her, because I wanted to believe that Faust played with my feelings too, but that's all my own delusions, and my unprofessionalism at the moment of doing my job. Her pure emotions were not equal to mine, I could never be compared to such a beautiful innocent soul. I'll always be a demon. You'll always be a demon, don't try to fool yourself. When did you become so childish, so innocent, so naive?
I slowly start losing memory of why you did this, why did you accept her. What was that seduced you from Margaret's petition? Was the opportunity to take revenge on Faust? Was the opportunity to spend more time with him? Was it the all the power that awakened in her soul? What was it? Why did you condemn yourself to such a cruel fate?
And I don't know why do I ask you these questions, you probably are even more lost than I am right now, I'm so sorry. I need to be less hard on you. You are the one who needs to be hard on yourself. You know I have a very bad habit of doing things at the last minute, and switching my responsabilities onto others. You're the one who needs to change that. Please, stop tormenting yourself so much. For the sake of you, me, them, the ones that were and will be, for the sake of Faust and Margaret, find a way to stop this. I don't know how much more I can take, I don't know how much more you can take.